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Parenting After Crisis: Healing Ourselves So We Can Show Up for Our Children


As parents and caregivers, we’re natural planners. Our brains are always a few steps ahead because our nervous systems love a good routine. Think: Go-bags, extra snacks in the car, foreseeing and prepping for toddler meltdowns whenever possible. Feeling in control, having a rhythm to the day.. it's what helps us stay steady and show up as our best selves.


And while we may be getting incrementally better at predicting and mentally preparing for outcomes, we’re often still learning how to hold our own emotions (while holding our child’s). Especially following an emotional whiplash of the unexpected.


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Unthinkable moments, especially devastating ones like the disastrous flood on July 4th in Central Texas, shatter the myth of certainty about everything we thought we knew. The loss of so many children's lives rocked us all, leaving us completely shaken and heartbroken, no matter where you were when you heard the news.



Psychologist Dr. Zelana put the worst, best when she said “The grief doesn’t belong to me, but it lives in my chest like it does. Because this is every parent’s nightmare.”

Grief isn’t something we move past—it’s something we carry. Taking time to reflect and honor the weight so many are holding is not just important, it’s an inextricable part of the healing. We want to help carry that weight.


 Our studio and team are here for it all—the laughter, the tiny milestones, the loud cries, the quiet parenting tears, and the heavy hearts.


Mi Casa families have always shown up for one another, and that spirit of comunidad is the life source of what we do.


While it’s now been a few weeks, the needs of the communities affected (directly or indirectly) are not to be forgotten.


(Read til the end for highly credible and actionable resources to support flood relief efforts in Central Texas—especially Kerr County—right now.)


Grief Shared is Grief Diminished.


So… let’s tackle this together.



1). When the Storm Is Over but Stress Lingers


When the Storm Has Passed But the Body Still Remembers


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When we experience stress—whether it's a chaotic morning with deeply feeling kids or something tragic like the recent natural disaster—our body shifts into survival mode. Even when the immediate danger has passed, our nervous system might still be on high alert, scanning for threats and stuck in a loop of tension and fatigue.



We hope the tools below land in a way that truly helps deposit some coins into your safe & calm bank so you can continue the important work (inner and outer).


TOOL #1: Recognizing Survival Mode


Healing often begins, and deepens — when someone truly sees us in what we’re going through. Often, the most important person we need this from is ourselves. If we never realize the way survival mode is showing up in us, if we never acknowledge or realize there’s a door of opportunity to feel differently, how can we walk through it?


Here are some discreet ways survival mode manifests, especially in caregivers and parents, that might not look like the classic "fight or flight," but are still signs the nervous system is overwhelmed and bracing for threat:



💭 Mental & Emotional

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  • Decision fatigue – even tiny choices (what to cook, what to wear) feel impossible


  • Over-apologizing or people-pleasing – constantly scanning for others’ comfort over your own


  • Inability to access joy – not because you’re ungrateful, but because your body is in protection mode


  • Numbing behaviors – doom scrolling, overplanning, or checking out emotionally


  • Hypervigilance masked as “being responsible” – needing to control everything to feel safe


  • Sudden teariness or irritation – even when “nothing’s wrong”


  • Avoiding rest – feeling lazy or unsafe when you're not “doing” something



🧍‍♀️ Physical & Sensory


  • Digestive issues – bloating, constipation, or not feeling hunger cues


  • Tension in neck/jaw/pelvis – from clenching, bracing, or holding your breath


  • Sound sensitivity – feeling like you can’t handle normal levels of noise (common with young kids!)


  • Chest tightness or shallow breathing – without realizing you’re not getting full breaths


  • Startle response – jumping easily at small things


  • Fatigue that sleep doesn’t fix – because your body’s in high alert, not true rest




    🧠 Relational & Behavioral


  • Feeling disconnected from your child – emotionally “going through the motions”


  • Snapping at loved ones – not because you’re unkind, but because your nervous system is maxed out


  • Micromanaging – trying to prevent everything from going wrong


  • Isolation – avoiding texts, calls, or social interaction


  • Rushing – through conversations, transitions, meals — even if there’s no time crunch


  • Resisting help – feeling like you should be able to handle everything alone


These are not failures. They’re signals. 

Your body is working overtime to protect you.

Learning to recognize these signs is often the first step to slowly bringing your nervous system out of survival mode and back into connection and healing.



2). What Your Body Feels, Your Fascia Holds


TOOL #2: 🌬️ Understanding the Toll Stress Takes


Stress doesn’t just hang out in your head—it settles into your body. It stiffens the fascia (that stretchy connective tissue hugging your muscles and organs), slows down your digestion, fogs your thinking, and drains your energy. You might feel it as a racing heart, tight shoulders, shallow breaths... even if all you did was spill your coffee.


Here’s the wild part: your body doesn’t distinguish between a missed nap and a real emergency. It flips the same stress switch—whether it’s a tantrum or a tragedy.


One dropped set of keys, and suddenly your system is responding as if there were a bear in the kitchen.
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So how do we stop our bodies from spiraling over every small disruption so that we can save the bracing for the high impacts?


What helps turn that stress switch off is surprisingly, and sometimes irritatingly simple: your breath.


Learning to slow it down, to check in with your body, and to build in regulation when things aren’t falling apart can make all the difference when they are.



Slowing your breath, tuning in to your body, and practicing regulation when things are calm is just as important as in moments of chaos.


The breath tells your body whether or not you are safe. When you get worked up, your heart and your breathing speed up, an instinct giving you more energy to run from danger or react to it.


TOOL #3: Peace Is a Muscle—A Baby & Me Workout


It’s natural to want to talk our kids out of discomfort—to distract, redirect, or cheerlead them through the hard stuff. But when we do this too often, we may accidentally send the message that big feelings are something to avoid.


Emotions aren’t emergencies; they’re just passing weather.


Instead of rushing to fix, try slowing things down. The moment you notice your child’s stress start to rise, shift the energy by taking audible (important) deep breaths. Let them hear you. Let them feel you.


Photo by Brayden Prato on Unsplash
Photo by Brayden Prato on Unsplash
Every time you slow down and breathe together, you’re helping them learn: “My body has something to say, and I can listen.” 

It’s about showing up, again and again, and reminding them (and ourselves) that you gotta feel it to heal it.


It might feel simple, but this is coregulation in action—offering presence, calm, and practice being uncomfortable rather than running from discomfort.




And while it may sound and feel counterintuitive, try beginning to highlight the moment, gently. As soon as you see the cues in your child that their anxiety, worry or stress is on the rise, immediately bring attention to your breath by practicing *audible* diaphragmatic breaths.


There is nothing more powerful than living by example, and providing healthy familiarity, early and often.


  • Diaper changes not their favorite? 😮‍💨 breathe through it. (LOUD & PROUD!) 


  • Before getting an “all done!” baby out of the high chair.. 😮‍💨 b r e a t h e.

    Give them a moment to find a sense of calm before helping them out, whenever possible.



All while reassuring them you are there to help, and that you will keep them safe. Should you do this early and often, babies and children will begin to be able to predict what happens next. If they can depend on you to help, if they feel heard immediately, their sense of safety and their trust in you grow.


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When you work on bringing intention and attention to your breath; making sure your belly rises before your chest on inhales, fully oxygenating your cells.. you gently retrain your nervous system to default to these regulating practices instead of letting the anxiety peak, exploding like a volcano, and only then experiencing relief.





3) Building Safety From the Inside Out


 When your body feels safe… 

🌱 Digestion improves 🧠 Clarity returns 💞 Real connection blooms

      This is where healing lives.


We can’t think or talk our way out of stress that’s living in our bodies.

Stress doesn’t just live in your mind — it moves into your body.


Tight shoulders. Shallow breaths. A stomach in knots after a minor mishap.Your nervous system doesn’t always know the difference between a disruption and a danger.


The work-around: Your breath can remind it.



What Navy SEALs and Burnt Out Parents Have in Common


In the heat of the moment, There are things you can do to interrupt the spiral. These tools may seem simple, but they’re deeply powerful when practiced with consistency:


🫁 The Navy Breath

 A breath regulation technique used by Navy SEALs, first responders, and trauma-informed therapists alike to calm the nervous system under pressure.


Breathe in for 4 counts

Hold for 4 counts

Breathe out for 4 counts

Hold for 4 counts


🔁 Repeat this cycle 4–6 times.


*The Navy breath (or box breathing) is designed primarily for performance under stress, not necessarily for deep relaxation. It teaches the body to tolerate and adapt to stress with steadiness, rather than signal total safety*


If you’re not in a high-stakes situation where you need to maintain alert, you might try to breathe in for four counts, then exhale for six or eight. The longer exhale signals to your body: You’re safe now. Flipping the switch from panic to calm.


Try it when you’re about to lose your cool, when your child is dysregulated, or even together as a daily calming practice.


It’s powerful and important to practice the breath that communicates safety to your body, especially when things are calm. This trains the brain to keep the tools within reach for times you are in no shape or mood to look for them.


These practices don’t just regulate the nervous system—they also offer a sense of agency, which is especially healing in times when things feel out of control. A tiny, yet mighty, and always accessible tool.



These tools aren’t meant to erase the emotional or physical effects of collective heaviness whether close to home, like in Kerr County, or far away like in Gaza.

We are here, breathing through that pain with you. The hope is to slowly return to your body, soften the stress in your fascia to allow physical healing to begin, and eventually to feel at home in your world again enough to take action.



And to remind and reassure you that you always have a home at Mi Casa. We are here to help.


TOOL #4: Help Where You Can


Although the floods in Kerr County may have faded from headlines, the need has not. In fact, now, weeks later as the media moves on—is when support matters most. Families are left piecing their lives back together, often quietly and with little visibility.


 If you're feeling the weight of grief or helplessness, one of the most powerful ways to move that energy is through meaningful action. Lending your time, resources, or voice can not only bring tangible relief to those still deep in recovery—it can also help your heart process what words can’t.


Grief needs movement, and community care is a beautiful place to begin.



💧 Donate Directly

Supporting with financial contributions is the most effective and trusted method right now:



🚨 Support Coordinated Local Response & Volunteer Efforts

These organizations are actively coordinating rescue, recovery, and volunteer operations:



🆘 Mental & Emotional Support

Supporting trauma and grief is just as important as physical recovery:



🐾 Other Local Support & Pet Assistance



🎤 Events & Fundraisers Making a Difference

Community-driven events are also helping raise funds and awareness:



🧭 Tips for Supporting Effectively

  1. Prefer monetary donations—they’re efficient and give local agencies flexibility. StatesmanUnited Ways of Texas


  2. Don’t self-deploy in-kind donations unless coordinated—most efforts request money unless otherwise directed. United Ways of Texas


  3. Channel support to localized funds for maximum impact where it’s needed most. onestarfoundation.orgCommunities Foundation of Texas



Even in the quiet aftermath—when the headlines fade and the world moves on—many families are still quietly navigating grief, exhaustion, and uncertainty. The weight of caregiving in these moments can feel like too much.


But when we begin with ourselves, by noticing how stress shows up in our bodies, by offering our nervous systems moments of pause, and by choosing presence over perfection—we create ripples that reach our children and our communities.


Recovery doesn’t happen all at once. It begins in small, steady breaths, in checking in instead of checking out, and in remembering that showing up for yourself is one of the most generous things you can do for those you love.

 
 
 

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